It strikes me a little yesterday when stitchboi was choosing his specialist course in the future.
He's intending to apply for plastics and some other surgery post which I think - is good for his/our future.

But and then it strikes me-how long does he has to get there?
and when he's achieving his goal? What would/should I be doing?
I was told that we cannot get both of it-the relationship and the career at the same time.

As much as I don't want to believe this, I think I have seen more than half of my friends who chosen career over their relationship once they started working.

Mommy Queen used to tell me I'm ambitious and stubborn. Hence, If i want something enough I will get it done. It's not the matter of can or not, it's always the matter of want or not.
And first point I proved her right by losing around 16kgs from my body and transformed from a fat girl who my high school friends made fun off- to a girl who has a choice to choose who to date because I have choices(back then, not until I have stitchboi lol)

And then I proved my mother right once again when i get through my LLB despite not being the best student. and then I gloriously slipped away my First Class distinction in my Masters in Law - so close but I graduated gloriously(pun intended) with a high 2.1-commendation.

and then I got into bar school. bar school taught me so well on how harsh the reality could be outside. And then also at this point, the relationship got a bit shaky and the problem got solved and then......... We were better than we were before.

And then Stitchboi started working, earning his own money and able to feed me on my daily needs. (meaning foods etcs -excluding shoppings if you ever wonder)

and then I was allowed to take a year off ma year after bptc complaining about how much Bar school has exhausted me. I think I just became lazier and lazier. Nothing more.

Yesterday, I talked to stitchboi about him going back to hongkong to work as a specialist cos it will be much easier to have your specialist father behind you to build up misc connections you need in HK.

And then I asked: Where do I go then? 
he answered: I don't know. after 2seconds pauses-HK LA!
I asked again: What do I do then?
He answered again: Housewife. Stay at home and wait for me to come home. and bonds with my parents.

I ANSWERED: NO WAY because I cannot.



And then it strikes my mind a little.
Where is this relationship heading? where are we both heading?

It's strange how when we see kids and dogs and family it seems like we assumed that we both are chained to marriage (like we will marry each other la) and then talk about him being a great daddy and so and so.

I am a little bit lost to be honest. But I hope it ended up in a good way.




On the other hand, I have gained like 4-5kgs now I am around 52kgs-ish.
I need to get back to 48 before the summer comes so I will have quite lots of work out and food diet to do in April and May and June. which is...................... 

ahh... tiring.


lol.




Goodbye for now.
  


xx
                         

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